so recently i made a very close friend..i mean they have always been there i just thought of them as an acquaintance. not that am snobbish or anything like that..we had a mutual friend so somehow you don always think you are going to be the closest of friends with the third party, know what am saying? anyway back to my new friend. he, yes its a he, is the most observant person i have ever met he still surprises me when he talks. walk into a room and within fifteen minutes he will tell you who is angry with who, who is feeling who, who hates who and who had a row with the boyfriend and then had wild make up sex. he has a gift its how i like to think of it and i intend to exploit this gift. am going to use this extra pair of eyes to take a good look at my life...from the outside. don't get me wrong, am not trying to live my life through someone else, i know better than that; but sometimes you reach a point in your life you just want to understand it all. your decisions, your mistakes, your fears and desires, the tears that you have cried and the laughter that you have shared with loved ones. there is an underlying reason for everything that we do, sometimes we identify this reason other times its not so clear.
looking back at my life i have have had hard times and made mistakes. for a long time, i blamed everything and everyone else but myself something that we are all guilty of. he took advantage of you that selfish bastard you complain to your friends, you are overloaded at work and end up cursing your boss or colleagues,your friends take you for granted you muse to yourself. but have we ever stopped to think that maybe we are the source of our misery. simple, some of us just don't know how to say NO. i know i don't and when i think back i could have prevented a lot of things with that two letter word.
we are afraid to say no because it is in our human nature to help. we want to help out our loved ones and colleagues. we are also afraid of being rude...have you ever seen the look on people's face when you say no to them, they make you feel like you are the worst person ever. other times we want to be agreeable because we want to fit in a group hence we hold back our true feelings while other times we do it because we don't want a confrontation. personally i hate question like "why wont you do it" and even worse is the resentment or tension that follows after saying no. we also don't want to miss out on opportunities. particularly if we are still trying to get ahead in life, we see everything we do as an opportunity that will finally open those doors. at the end of the day we take on more than we can handle, we have no time to do things for ourselves or just work on ourselves making us very bitter people.
the truth is, no one will hate you just because you said no to them and even if they did, they probably are just selfish only thinking of themselves. you don't have to do that job if you really cant, instead suggest someone else you know can do it. you don't want that dude making advances at you, then don't give him your number or take his gifts only to bitch about him when you are with your friends. you know that guy or girl is not good enough for you but you still go out with them because you could not say no at their invitation for a coffee or drinks and before you know it you are in too deep and scarred. we are always told of how we need to take control of our lives...i think one way of doing this is by learning to say NO. its not the easiest thing to do because at the end of the day we all just want to be liked..but it is good for us and take it from me, will save you a lot of heartache, resentment and disappointment.am learning to say NO.
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