music to my heart

 music to my heart
was at home during the weekend to see my baby..i get so excited at the thought of seeing him, most of the time i cant even sleep. all i can think about is how i will play with him, roll on the floor with him, chase him around the house and outside as he tries to get away. and most of all, to hear him call me MUM.i can never seem to get enough of that.it has to be the most beautiful word i have ever had. i don't care if i never get a poem  written for me again..as long as i can hear him say the word..am sorted for life. i love how when i enter the house and he sees me he shouts it..and runs to me..begging to be picked up. looking at me with so much joy and contentment like i hold his world. he looks at the rest like"cant touch me now,mama is around".
and he knows it too because he acts really spoiled for the few days that am there..he wont sleep with anyone else, he wont eat if am not feeding him, i cant open the door without him crying thinking am leaving. he will go to my purse pick money and pull my hand telling me we should go buy sweets.God,  he even knows the way to the shop. when did he get so big? and most of all, he refuses to walk when am around..i have to carry him.he acts like he is the boss of me.
which i guess he is coz there is nothing that i wouldn't do for that boy. the amount of joy and love that he has brought in my life compares to nothing i have ever experienced before.the least i can do is love him with all i have.nothing or no one could ever come before him in my life. i pray that i am half the mother he deserves coz he deserves so much more than i have to offer. to teach him to be the best he can be, to be respectful at all times, to say thank you and am sorry;two simple words but mean the world when you say them and mean it. most importantly i want to teach him to love and say it without fear, more so to me :-)))

All the little things

I want to drive an Audi, I want to own a house just like the Kiuna’s, I want to own the most beautiful couch and the most colorful rug(am crazy for warm colors), I need that huge amount of cash to be able to do what I want. All these are things I desire and there is not a single day that passes without me whispering a prayer to the man upstairs whenever a car passes me or a I see a beautiful home. Everybody dreams of such things, I know am not the only one, what with all the really expensive and posh lives the media feeds us, they must be in conspiracy with the retailers. But the media is the last thing on my mind right now…because while am dreaming of all the grand things of life, I miss to the very little things. When I fail to notice all the little things, then I miss out on the goodness of our lord. When I miss out on Gods goodness, I end up not being thankful and always complaining and whining. “Oh, God has totally forgotten me, am sure he doesn’t even recognize my voice anymore (yeah I say all kinds of crazy things when am speaking to myself)”. Now I don know about you but I hate whiners, so I can only imagine what god might be thinking when I do it. But my point is this, if we are not grateful for the small things that god has done for us, we can’t expect him to bless us with the bigger things. If we take for granted that friend, or the daily bread that he puts on our table, that 20 bob that pays your transport or a single roomed roof over your head, how the hell do we expect him to bless us with the big cars, house or couch to fit ten people. I realized this after praying for something for so long without realizing God had already granted it to me…FREE. So instead of cars, houses or sofas, am praying for wisdom. Wisdom to realize and be thankful that I at least have a job,  can commute, have food, a place to lay my head and most of all friends, family and a beautiful son.